Dear all,
It was a weird week, from getting deep down and dirty with a mud pack to getting stood up when I planned to be in bed with someone for 24 hours…
Before I go on, I have to admit I’m not going to take up the place on the totem pole building weekend, I started to do the sums for the trip and it was going to cost me around £400 for the 2 day break and I simply can’t afford it… for a similar amount I could probably fly to America and see real totem poles.
I will find another way of completing native american day which might follow this route a little closer http://www.mantoncork.com/toys3.htm I’m not sure how I’m going to find corks but I have a few ideas.
SimiIarly I got stuck at work and couldn’t make my appointment at the beauty salon, so i did amud pack from Boots which seems to have gone ok. So at least I completed that strange day properly.

mud pack
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The end the week I was due to finish with the John & Yoko Challenge. I hoped the John & Yoko challenge was going to really spark, to try and push it along, I put a lot of work several weeks / months, trying to source venues, press releases, websites etc…
Somehow, I was sold online for £300 but to my dismay, I found out the day before the challenge was due to take place that the winner of the auction could not get the time off work and I had nobody to share the space at the Garrett… To tell the truth I started to crumble, I was exhausted and probably felt the lowest I have at any point this year, with the possible exception of when I walked around a graveyard in Bradninch for a couple of hours looking for a headstone which was in a cemetary a matter of meters away.
To me earning £300 for the charity was great, but to me that was only half of what I had set out to do, as with everything this year I want to complete the challenges set to me to the very best of my abilities.
As many of you will know I tried sending emails and texting / calling anyone who might be able to step / sleep in to help me complete the task. Getting increasingly desperate I took a walk down Oxford Street seeking inspiration. It’s strange how little choice there is on london’s foremost shopping street, all the shops are faxsimilies of each other, Zara becomes Uniqlo, M&S = Debenhams, Selfridges = John Lewis, Ann Summers = Harmony…
For those who don’t know Harmony it’s an attempt by pornographers to make the whole experience of buying erotica somehow less seedy and more clean cut, (it doesn’t work), I went in and found myself staring at chinese sex doll thinking – it looks a bit Yoko, if a little open mouthed, I could dress it up – but somehow that seemed too sordid even for me, and I left the shop still trying to think of something.

Chinese doll
I had put plenty of thought into things to accompany the challenge, I’ve been buying Lennon CDs, DVDs, biographies etc to try and get a handle on what he did during the ‘bed ins’ to try and make my stay a little more authentic.

I found online that Yoko had a book called Grapefruit which was a semi autobiographical collection of instructions and drawings – it was going to take weeks to arrive so I thought I’d search it out in a few bookshops, when Foyles doesn’t even stock it you know it’s not going to be sitting on the shelves anywhere so I started thinking of other ways to find a Yoko.
Armed with the phone numbers for a couple of late night talk radio shows, I braced myself for more disappointment, being placed on hold for what felt like forever by BBC London, I gave up and headed out to meet friends for a drink to see if they could help with last ditch ideas.
Mulling over the problem I had to let the venue down, I felt awful, the people at the Troubadour have been nothing but great to me, they had even tried to add a little more publicity to the event
themselves and having to back out on them at the last moment made me feel even worse than I had all day. If I was going to complete the task it would be at home in Tooting because if I couldn’t make get someone else to the venue there seemed no point in doing it in the middle of London.
The conversation in the pub did throw up several different possibilities, kidnap seemed a little extreme,, so thought went back to the idea of getting a stunt double / doll. Earlier in the year for national scarecrow day I had built a 5 foot tall scarecrow which has been stood in our lounge for the last couple of months, whilst I have never felt the urge to sleep with it, I did start to think it could make a suitable Yoko, I could dress it up a little to look like Ms Ono and at least I would be sharing a space with a human shaped object, even if it wasn’t breathing, so when I got home I looked at it and made the decision that it’d have to do.
When I had planned this event I was going to hold it at the Garrett which had told me they would be able to cater my event, and would be able to bring food up to the room so there would be no need to leave the bed and break the rules of the challenge, I’d taken this into account and ad let the food in my house run down. My major problem now was I wasn’t going to the Garrett and I was set to spend 24 hours in a bed with no access to amenities, searching through my cupboards I found a litre bottle of water a can of coke and a packet of hobnob biscuits, not really the best plan for a 24 hour bed in.
Anyway at 9:30am I settled in to spend 24 hrs in bed, (with my Yoko), drawing inspiration pictures from John & Yoko’s efforts, I made a few Bed Peace / Hair (Beard) Peace posters for the wall and started to read Lennon’s biography.

I put on Lennon’s legend album for the first time and realised I knew far more of the songs then I expected, I’ve never been hugely into the Beatles or John Lennon as a solo artist but somehow they have seeped into my consciousness.

I filled my day by watching Lennon DVDs and reading, it became quite apparent that Lennon was into animation and to fill some time I started trying to do a few pictures in his style which can be seen here.
The rest of the day and night starts to blur, having nobody to talk to for 24 hrs means that even something like Loose Women can sound appealing – I switched the TV on briefly but seeing as the main guest was Joe Pasquale I turned it off again incredibly quickly.
I’d like to thank all the texts from people who kept telling me I was lazy and should get up, it was great to know you cared.
By the time the challenge finally finished I was very glad to get out of that bed, one thing I hadn’t thought about when selecting the scarecrow was the fact it had wooden poles as it’s main arms and body brace, these didn’t bend and were about 5 foot long in each direction, meaning the Yoko took up the majority of the bed.
I completed the challenge in the best way that I could, but I feel I didn’t do it justice, that said it was a brilliant experience, I’ve had emails from a mad woman and been caricatured in a national paper, things I never thought would happen after a drunken chat in a bar in Spain.
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As this is my first proper mail out of October I should point out the strange days I intend to cover this month, they are:
October 12th – Cookbook Launch Day (so if you have any special recipes please send them to me)
October 23rd (from 6.02am to 6.02pm) National Mole Day – sadly not the rodent kind but the chemistry one (it’s the reason I only got an E at A Level in Chemistry maybe 15 years on I might finally understand it)
October 27th – National Tell a Story Day
That said October 18th was so, so tempting http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/October/nobeardday.htm
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Loads more to come in the next few weeks, keep on challenging me and i’ll keep accepting
Rob /Devani
www.justgiving.com/twothousandandgreat