Two Thousand and Great – Weeks 43 & 44

Dear All

Sorry for the lack of email last week I decided to take a quick break from everything and go and see a friend in Valencia which was lovely.

As the cold weather closed in it was nice to get a break. In my head I convinced myself it would be useful to get a bit of warm weather training before my 10k run but instead it turned out to be a series of long nights drinking heavily and eating gorgeous food.

The thing I love about Valencia is the Turia – basically there used to be a river that flowed through the heart of the city which no longer exists. Instead of filling it with housing and shopping centres they decided to turn it into a green space. 

It’s about 9kms long and has incredible fountains and stuff dotted through it, ancient bridges and masses of sporting stuff like football pitches and baseball diamonds, at the end there’s the ultra modern city of arts and sciences. Walking the Turia was lovely but it in no way prepared me for the run which I completed yesterday.

Way back in the spring I was set the challenge to race a friend over a 10k distance, when we originally agreed to race we both set out plans to do training runs and generally be in some kind of fit state to finish in a respectable time.

I even mentioned it in an email a couple of months ago and a friend from New Zealand who is ultra fit doing iron man triathlons and the like gave me a detailed training plan.

Unsurprisingly this didn’t happen, any thoughts of after work runs were washed out, so we headed down to Brighton yesterday in a nervous mood, worrying that the weather conditions actually made those in the lake district look positively balmy.

Armed with a sweat band and some vaseline (don’t ask) and brand new never worn before running shoes, we walked down the promenade getting drenched by rain and spray from the rough seas trying to work out why exactly we had got out of our warm beds in London travelled to the South Coast and were contemplating running in mud and along the promenade.

A little bit of an aside but, buying running shoes was an odd experience, I went to a speicalised running shop and selected a pair of trainers that looked a sensible price, shape style etc.. when the lovely assistant asked if I wanted to have a quick run in them on a treadmill. 

Being the morning after a night before I kindly turned her down but did ask what else they sold in the shop. Downstairs they sold swimming costumes, I had to ask whether they had a hot tub or pool, as it seemed they were going all the way to make you buy one item but not the other. It’s a shame as a quick dip could really have cured my thumping head.

Back to the run, we turned up with under a minute to go, meaning our warm up was slightly less than 30 minutes the organisers suggested, more a case of leap a fence and join the back of the pack than a planned set of sensible stretches and lunges.

That said we joined into the bunch and started our little run. I’d like to say at this point that in some kind of Herculean effort I really impressed, but with my breakfast starting to venture north at around 3k my running partner started to leave me behind. 

The weirdest thing was I didn’t feel at all comfortable, with the huge amount of people that were there, I couldn’t run properly having to take very short strides and basically waddle running like a penguin with thrush which was doing me in.

I dropped back further from my running partner but finally found some space and could run, being taller than most of the others my longer strides meant I caught up and then had the same problem. This made my run slightly odd, I seemed to be able to run in bursts and then have to slow right down.

In the end I think I resorted to a tactic that everyone else does which is to find an attractive girl / boy and follow them admiring the view (of the sea  you perverts!).

Some of the messages that people wrote on their cards which were pinned to their outfits were really inspiring – at this point I am kind of glad i didn’t put the message I had originally written on my card. The opening sentence was I am running for….. my initial idea was to write Jamaica, then it got switched to THE BUS. childish I know but common sense got the better of me and I ran without a sign. I knew why I was there and so did the people I went with it seems almost odd to have to fill that card in.

I’d love to say it was a barnstorming finish but I was beaten around the course by a couple of girls in butterfly outfits so I am fairly sure Seb Coe will not be calling me up for London 2012. The day was great and resulted in another nice donation to the charity which is what really counts.

At the end I received a silver medal which is odd because I think that meant I came second – Cancer Research UK must have an incredible system for working out who finished where, I guess I was second in my weight / height / baldness and beard class… 

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For the more culinary minded of you, I have added another couple of recipes to the cookbook – the oft mentioned Lamb in Olives has finally made it’s debut. that can be seen here:

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Wednesday 22nd was Rainmaking Day and a possible strange day but seeing as it was hammering down when I landed back from Valencia I decided against picking this as a day to celebrate…

Thursday 23rd though was a day I set out to celebrate ‘National Mole Day’ – this wasn’t another rodent / animal based challenge but an attempt to see if I could finally understand the basics of chemistry. 

A mole to break it down to it’s simplest level is a basic measuring unit. It equals the atomic mass of a single molecule measured in grams.

This might help - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(unit) or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_Day

I sat down and looked at a couple of websites / text books / worked examples which tried to explain the equation and how to formulate a mole (very important) and I still don’t get it. 

This might not seem that big a deal to 99.9% of people but I studied chemistry A level and this is the main building block of chemistry – it’s akin to not being able to use vowels in an English exam –  if you can’t understand mole calculations everything else on the syllabus is useless.

When exams come around people always say it’s not as hard as it was in my day and the like but this is maths and it can’t change, I could try and  learn it forever but still not get it. To everyine who does get it and get their A stars well done, you’re a far brighter cookie than me.

Friday will be my last Strange day of the month, it was going to be tell a story day (today – which I am kind of doing here, but I don’t think this counts.) So I will attempt to do National Magic Day and maybe recreate the lost illusion of water into wine from Holy Experiment Day back in March.

Any budding magicians that wish to join in please upload a video onto Youtube and let me know the links and I will share the joy.

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I still haven’t drawn the person who purchased the artwork from John & Yoko but it has spurned an idea from one of my supporters. 

I am going to try and create a number of Twothousandandgreat christmas cards. I don’t know yet whether they will be of me with the white beard or drawings but if you fancy some one off cards to give to people for a good cause let me know.

Design ideas will go up shortly, but any suggestions welcomed.

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My current thoughts for Strange Days in November are:

Nov 6th – Guinness World Record Day

Nov 17th – Homemade Bread Day

Nov 21st – National False Confessions Day

But these as ever are subject to change.

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Loads still to do but keep challenging me and I’ll keep on accepting.

Rob / Devani

Two Thousand and Great – Week 42

Dear all

Very short email tonight, a proper one later this week I promise….

Sunday was my first strange day of the month; Cookbook Launch Day, and I had an absolute blast!

Thanks to everyone who sent in recipes, I have so many to cook and add to the collection, but it’s launched and here’s the start of it.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=77039&l=78ebe&id=660945790

Really looking forward to the lamb with olive tapenade, that will be added later this week. there’s on;y a few meals here as I was busy cooking away and taking pictures but then realised I had to eat all the stuff being made as I had no room to store anything in the freezer and instead of throwing food away i will cook on later days and add the recipes as I go.

I have much news on challenges to give out including the possibility I might get to set a stadium record (but more will be revealed on that later)

Keep on challenging me and I’ll keep accepting

Rob / Devani

Two Thousand and Great – Week 42 (part II)

Dear all

The promised second half of Monday’s email…

I think I can add artist to my CV now, as you may know, when I was completing the John & Yoko challenge I drew a number of pictures in Mr Lennon’s style. Somebody saw the gallery of images I placed on facebook and made me and incredibly generous offer for the pictures, so I sold them (with all money going to MacMillan obviously).

Does selling something you’ve created make you an artist? I have also offered to draw the person who bought the images, in the Lennon style to give her something unique as a thank you, all we just have to find a time for them to sit for me.

Other weird things I have discovered this week is you can’t kiss your dentist, it’s against GDC regulations. I guess this isn’t a problem for most people, as dental drills aren’t usually an erotic stimulus. That said my dentist is a beautiful red head and I really wanted to kiss her for the pucker up challenge. She rebuffed me but did say if there had been a red head dental nurse she’d have been fair game and would have organised it for me.

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I invited a few friends around yesterday with the idea of producing a few more dishes for the cookbook, unfortunately as I was leaving work I had a call from my housemate saying we’d blown the fuse for our lights and could I try and find one. We have an antiquated old fuse box in our building which requires very specific ceramic fuses which are strangely unobtainable in normal electrical retailers. After trawling around London for 45 minutes I gave up and headed for home, in the knowledge I had told people to arrive at mine for food and footie from 6:30 and it was now 6:45 and I was still at Tottenham Court Road.

Getting off the tube I grabbed the final two ingredients that I lacked and a huge sack of candles as I had to cook somehow. These weren’t for romantic lighting as suggested by some of the guests but a necessity.

As I was cooking in the dark I didn’t take photos of the food that I was preparing but I will remake them and log them for the new cookbook (especially as I now have feedback on the dishes) The lamb in olives was a big hit, the couscous stuffed roasted peppers need a touch of work, but the strawberry spring rolls are a winner. The promised banoffee pie didn’t happen as I managed to burn the condensed milk whilst I was preparing the biscuit base for it to go in so that recipe definitely needs attention.

Thanks for all the recipes that people keep sending in. One recipe that will not make it into the cookbook ‘The Atkins Salad’ think four different kinds of meat (Chicken, lamb, beef and pork – cooked in different methods and a tomato) I made it and ate it but… I don’t think anyone else should.

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Keep on challenging me, I’ll keep accepting.

Rob / Devani

Two Thousand and Great – Week 41

Dear all,

It was a weird week, from getting deep down and dirty with a mud pack to getting stood up when I planned to be in bed with someone for 24 hours…

Before I go on, I have to admit I’m not going to take up the place on the totem pole building weekend, I started to do the sums for the trip and it was going to cost me around £400 for the 2 day break  and I simply can’t afford it… for a similar amount I could probably fly to America and see real totem poles.

I will find another way of completing native american day which might follow this route a little closer http://www.mantoncork.com/toys3.htm I’m not sure how I’m going to find corks but I have a few ideas.

SimiIarly I  got stuck at work and couldn’t make my appointment at the beauty salon, so i did amud pack from Boots which seems to have gone ok. So at least I completed that strange day properly.

 

mud pack

 

 

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The end the week I was due to finish with the John & Yoko Challenge.  I hoped the John & Yoko challenge was going to really spark, to try and push it along, I put a lot of work several weeks / months, trying to source venues, press releases, websites etc…

Somehow, I was sold online for £300 but to my dismay, I found out the day before the challenge was due to take place that the winner of the auction could not get the time off work  and I had nobody to share the space at the Garrett… To tell the truth I started to crumble, I was exhausted and probably felt the lowest I have at any point this year, with the possible exception of when I walked around a graveyard in Bradninch for a couple of hours looking for a headstone which was in a cemetary a matter of meters away.

To me earning £300 for the charity was great, but to me that was only half of what I had set out to do, as with everything this year I want to complete the challenges set to me to the very best of my abilities.

As many of you will know I tried sending emails and texting / calling anyone who might be able to step / sleep in to help me complete the task.  Getting increasingly desperate I took a walk down Oxford Street seeking inspiration. It’s strange how little choice there is on london’s foremost shopping street, all the shops are faxsimilies of each other, Zara becomes Uniqlo, M&S = Debenhams, Selfridges = John Lewis,  Ann Summers = Harmony…

For those who don’t know Harmony it’s an attempt by pornographers to make the whole experience of buying erotica somehow less seedy and more clean cut, (it doesn’t work), I went in and found myself staring at chinese sex doll thinking – it looks a bit Yoko, if a little open mouthed, I could dress it up – but somehow that seemed too sordid even for me, and I left the shop still trying to think of something.

Chinese doll

 

I had put plenty of thought into things to accompany the challenge, I’ve been buying Lennon CDs, DVDs, biographies etc to try and get a handle on what he did during the ‘bed ins’ to try and make my stay a little more authentic.

I found online that Yoko had a book called Grapefruit which was a semi autobiographical collection of instructions and drawings – it was going to take weeks to arrive so I thought I’d search it out in a few bookshops, when Foyles doesn’t even stock it you know it’s not going to be sitting on the shelves anywhere so I started thinking of other ways to find a Yoko.

Armed with the phone numbers for a couple of late night talk radio shows, I braced myself for more disappointment, being placed on hold for what felt like forever by BBC London, I gave up and headed out to meet friends for a drink to see if they could help with last ditch ideas.

Mulling over the problem I had to let the venue down, I felt awful, the people at the Troubadour have been nothing but great to me, they had even tried to add a little more publicity to the event
themselves and having to back out on them at the last moment made me feel even worse than I had all day. If I was going to complete the task it would be at home in Tooting because if I couldn’t make get someone else to the venue there seemed no point in doing it in the middle of London.

The conversation in the pub did throw up several different possibilities, kidnap seemed  a little extreme,, so thought went back to the idea of getting a stunt double / doll.  Earlier in the year for national scarecrow day I had built a 5 foot tall scarecrow which has been stood in our lounge for the last couple of months, whilst I have never felt the urge to sleep with it, I did start to think it could make a suitable Yoko, I could dress it up a little to look like Ms Ono and at least I would be sharing a space with a human shaped object, even if it wasn’t breathing, so when I got home I looked at it and made the decision that it’d have to do.

When I had planned this event I was going to hold it at the Garrett which had told me they would be able to cater my event, and would be able to bring food up to the room so there would be no need to leave the bed and break the rules of the challenge, I’d taken this into account and ad let the food in my house run down. My major problem now was I wasn’t going to the Garrett and I was set to spend 24 hours in a bed with no access to amenities, searching through my cupboards I found a litre bottle of water a can of coke and a packet of hobnob biscuits, not really the best plan for a 24 hour bed in.

Anyway at 9:30am I settled in to spend 24 hrs in bed, (with my Yoko), drawing inspiration pictures from John & Yoko’s efforts, I made a few Bed Peace / Hair (Beard) Peace posters for the wall and started to read Lennon’s biography.

I put on Lennon’s legend album for the first time and realised I knew far more of the songs then I expected, I’ve never been hugely into the Beatles or John Lennon as a solo artist but somehow they have seeped into my consciousness.

I filled my day by watching Lennon DVDs and reading, it became quite apparent that Lennon was into animation and to fill some time I started trying to do a few pictures in his style which can be seen here.

The rest of the day and night starts to blur, having nobody to talk to for 24 hrs means that even something like Loose Women can sound appealing – I switched the TV on briefly but seeing as the main guest was Joe Pasquale I turned it off again incredibly quickly.

I’d like to thank all the texts from people who kept telling me I was lazy and should get up, it was great to know you cared.

By the time the challenge finally finished I was very glad to get out of that bed, one thing I hadn’t thought about when selecting the scarecrow was the fact it had wooden poles as it’s main arms and body brace, these didn’t bend and were about 5 foot long in each direction, meaning the Yoko took up the majority of the bed.

I completed the challenge in the best way that I could, but I feel I didn’t do it justice, that said it was a brilliant experience, I’ve had emails from a mad woman and been caricatured in a national paper, things I never thought would happen after a drunken chat in a bar in Spain.

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As this is my first proper mail out of October I should point out the strange days I intend to cover this month, they are:

October 12th – Cookbook Launch Day  (so if you have any special recipes please send them to me)
October 23rd (from 6.02am to 6.02pm) National Mole Day – sadly not the rodent kind but the chemistry one (it’s the reason I only got an E at A Level in Chemistry maybe 15 years on I might finally understand it)
October 27th – National Tell a Story Day

That said October 18th was so, so tempting  http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/October/nobeardday.htm

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Loads more to come in the next few weeks, keep on challenging me and i’ll keep accepting

Rob /Devani

 

www.justgiving.com/twothousandandgreat

Two Thousand and Great – I’ve been sold

Dear all

 

Someone has bought me for £300 – I’m yet to discover whether it’s a Yoko or a Bloko, all will be revealed soon.

 

Rob / Devani